Where the Heart Lives
by JaSamRox
Summary: This story takes a bit of a different spin on Jake's death.  Sam and Jason must face some of their fears and have some big discussions in order to move forward with their lives.
1. Chapter 1

**With the s/l of Jake's death, I decided to write a story that picked up with Jason and Sam after Jake dies. I don't like the idea of Sam thinking she hit Jake or the fact that Sam left Jason at the hospital alone, so that is not an option here!** **Sam is there to help Jason pick up the pieces and they both find a little surprise as they are putting their lives back together. **

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own General Hospital or the characters Jason and Sam.**

He was purely exhausted and unable to process what was happening. At the same time, he was filled with regret. Jason knew in his head that Lucky had been Jake's father, but in his heart he knew Jake was his son, a son he didn't know and a son who didn't know him. That's where the regret sunk in. He could remember each and every time he had touched or held that little boy, and those times were too few to count. The tears were falling and had been since Lucky called him the night before. He still couldn't believe Jake was hit by a car.

Jason looked into the eyes of the woman sitting beside him. Sam was beautiful and she had been his rock since the moment she arrived at the hospital. As he looked into her chocolate-brown eyes, he saw the love reflected in them. She was his life, his world, his everything. He needed her more now than ever, even if he didn't admit it. Jason Morgan was not a man to express his feelings openly or in public, but he felt the love in Sam's touch as she had one hand wrapped around his hand and she used her other hand to gently stroke his shoulder. He could feel the comfort of her touch, but everything else was empty. His world seemed dark. Jason didn't know what Lucky and Elizabeth would decide, but Jason couldn't help but feel regret for the decisions they'd made nearly four years ago.

"Jason, we're in this together," she reassured him, "I'm here for you." She paused for a moment, "and if you want to be alone, I can make that happen too."

As Jason looked into her eyes, there was one thing he was sure of. He knew he couldn't get through this without Sam. "I know," was all Jason could manage as he reached down and placed a kiss on her forehead. The couple sat in the hospital waiting room consoling one another as they waited for news. No words were spoken, but they were both reliving the past 12 hours.

_**The Night Before**_

_Jason stood in the observation area as he watched Patrick and Robin perform surgery on Jake. The room was full of doctors and nurses racing against time to save the little boy who had wandered out of his house and into the street only to be hit by a driver who didn't even have the guts to stop and check on the child. Jason was vulnerable, but the terror took over and he vowed to find the person who had hurt his son and make them pay. As the medical professionals raced against time to save Jake, Jason thought back to the brief time he spent with his son. As a baby, Jason had limited contacted with Jake, but he adored his son. He thought about the dreams he had for a normal life for Jake and the reasons why he decided it would be best if Jake was Lucky's son. Then he thought about that December night when he and Sam had gone to rescue Jake after being kidnapped by the Russians. Jake was such a lovable little boy. Jason smiled as he recalled Jake playing with Sam in the back seat. Then Jason smiled more when he thought about the last time he spent with Jake. Jason was grateful that Sam had encouraged him to spend some time with his son the night of the bus crash. Jake was definitely talkative, first talking to Sam and then talking to him. As Jason stood there he thought about all the danger he thought the mob could bring to a child's life and the irony that Jake was injured simply by playing with his toys. _

_Jason was brought out of his daydream only to hear the panic-stricken gasps of the doctors and the loud beeping of the machines. Robin noticed Jason standing there and she walked out to let him know what had happened._

"_Jason we tried to do everything we could, Jake is brain dead."_

"_What does that mean?"_

"_Right now we are using artificial measures to keep Jake's organ's functioning, there's some hope. We need to find Lucky and Elizabeth."_

_With that Robin walked away to leave Jason standing there as the tears started to fill his eyes._

"_Jason! Jason!" Sam called as she spotted him in the hallway outside of the operating room. She was running in her heels. As she reached Jason she wrapped her arms around him and gripped him tightly._

_As she pulled away, she looked into Jason's eyes and somehow Sam knew the answer to her question, but she asked it anyway, "How's Jake? I came as soon as I heard."_

_Jason shook his head as he replied, "It's not good."_

"_Baby I'm so sorry, what can I do?" she said as she stood facing him and rubbed her hands up and down her back._

"_I- I just need you with me," Jason said sounding more vulnerable than Jason Morgan ever had in his life._

"_Well I'm not going anywhere. I love you," she said simply._

"_I love you too. Thanks Sam."_

_The couple stood and hugged for what seemed like an eternity until they heard Carly coming down the hallway towards them._

"_Jason, It's bad," Carly said as she charged toward Jason. Sam moved to stand beside him, but he kept a firm grip on her hand._

"_I know Carly. I can't imagine my son on- on life support," Jason said as he could barely get the words out._

"_Your son? Jake's that bad?" Carly asked._

"_Carly what are you talking about?" Jason asked looking confused._

"_It's Josslyn. Her fever and symptoms are more than we thought. She has kidney cancer, stage 5" Carly said._

_In that moment, Jason Morgan did what Jason did best. He put on his superman cape and fought back his own pain to comfort his friend. Sam knew that Carly needed Jason, so she asked, "Carly where is Josslyn? Can I go see her?"_

"_That'd be great Sam. She's in room 427. Jax had to go out and research some organ donors, if you go see her she won't be alone," Carly said._

_Sam reached up and looked in Jason's eyes. "I'm going to see Joss, but I'm right here if you need me." She kissed him on the cheek._

"_Thanks," Jason said as he watched her fade down the hallway and he focused his attention back on Carly._

"_Jason I'm so sorry about Jake. I didn't know it was that bad, I just wanted some support from my best friend," Carly said._

"_Carly I- I always want to support you, but I don't know if I can right now," Jason said as tears filled his eyes._

_Just then Robin walked up. "They've moved Jake to a room. He's on life support, but it's not good. It's up to Lucky and Elizbaeth. Patrick says if they remove life support within 24 hours, Jake's organs can be donated to other children. Lucky and Elizabeth are considering their options now."_

"_Jason you have to go to her, talk to Elizabeth and convince her to donate Jake's organs. Jake's kidney could save Josslyn," Carly pleaded with Jason as a grieving mother and Jason couldn't be upset with Carly for trying to save her daughter, he just knew in his head that it wasn't his decision. Jason gave up that right along with many others when he agreed to allow Lucky to raise Jake._

"_Carly, it's not up to me, but I will, I will talk to Elizabeth," Jason assured his friend as he hugged her._

_Carly sat down next to Jason and she started rambling like only Carly could ramble. Jason couldn't hear what she was saying. All he could think about was that he's never have the opportunity to see his son again. Even if he had to watch him from afar, Jason found comfort in seeing Jake live a happy life. But now, that was all gone too. Jason thought further about the irony. His goddaughter now needed one of Jake's kidneys to survive._

"_Do you think so, Jason?" Carly finished._

"_What, I don't know…" he said, confused and unsure about what Carly even babbled to him._

"_It's ok, I know you're hurt, but your son is giving Josslyn a chance at life, thank you," Carly said tearfully. "I'd better get back to Josslyn." Carly hugged Jason and stood up to walk back to her own daughter._

_Sam walked into Josslyn's room and looked at the baby lying in the crib. "Hey Sweet Baby," she said as she looked down. As Sam stood there she couldn't help but think about the baby she had lost. She knew that she and Jason's lives would have been different if Lila had lived and she couldn't help but imagine what it would be like. The tears started to stream down her face and she began to think about the six years that had passed. She was confused. She wanted to be there for Jason right now, but it was hard. Sam knew that there was a time she had wished Jake never existed, but never could she have imagined this happening to him. _

_She looked at Josslyn again and she said, "You know Joss, Jason and I had two little girls once. Lila was the baby that we got to know while she was growing inside of me, but we never got to meet her. I hoped she would be sweet and brave, just like you," with that Josslyn smiled as she reached up for Sam to hold her. Sam reached into the crib and picked up the little girl. "Hey sweetie, you wanna rock, let's go rock," Sam walked over and sat in the rocking chair with Josslyn on her lap. "Where was I? Oh yeah Jason and I had another little girl, Hope, who we did get to meet and keep with us for a while. Jason and I were going to raise her and love her more than anyone in this world, but then her family decided they wanted to love her too. Your Uncle Jason would be such a great father," Sam said as she continued to rock her._

"_He really would Sam," the voice startled Sam and she realized Carly had returned, "You're good with her," she continued._

"_Thanks Carly, she makes it easy," Sam said as she looked down and realized Josslyn had fallen asleep in her arms, "I guess sometimes you always want what you can't have," Sam said._

"_Sometimes," Carly said as she reached down and grabbed Josslyn to return her to the crib. "You know they want to start pumping chemo-that poison into this sweet little girl tomorrow if we can't find an organ donor."_

"_Wow, that's quick," Sam said._

"_I am so grateful that Jason is going to ask Elizabeth and Lucky to consider donating Jake's organs to Josslyn. I mean it's sad what's happening to Jake, but he could be Josslyn's only shot at life," Carly said._

_Sam walked over to Carly and though the two were not best friends, they mutually respected one another. "Carly I hope it works out, because there is no pain worse than losing a child."_

"_I'm sorry Sam this has to be hard on you"_

"_Carly you have no idea. I'm going to leave you with this sweet little one. Please let me know if there is anything I can do," Sam said as she walked out of the room._

_After Sam left the room, she stayed in the Pediatric Unit for a few minutes to think. She walked down to the end of the hall and into the waiting room where she found a small little girl about 5 years old._

"_Hello," the little girl said cheerfully. She didn't look sick, but she had some bandages and cuts on her arms. The little girl immediately noticed the marks on Sam's face._

"_Hi there," Sam said as she stood in the doorway._

"_Are you in the hospital too?" the little girl asked._

"_Well, I was in the hospital after I got hurt, but I got all better and they sent me home. I'm here to visit someone," Sam said although she didn't really know how to say. I'm here to see the little boy that I regretted was ever born that I watched be kidnapped, that I really do love and wanted my boyfriend to raise, but it's too late._

"_I'm here because I was in a car accident. My mommy and I were hurt, she's here too."_

"_I'm so sorry, I hope she will get better soon," Sam said as she offered a smile to the little girl who had stolen her heart within moments._

"_Olivia," a nurse said, "It's time to go back to your room and get ready for bed."_

"_OK"_

_Sam wondered if the little girl had family or how her mother was doing if she was still a patient at GH. The PI in Sam made a mental note to check it out, but rationally she knew her plate was full._

_Sam made her way back to Jason and the two of them sat in the waiting area all night. Jason had spoken to Lucky about donating Jake's organs, but Elizabeth was reluctant and had even been nasty to Jason. Jason was trying to keep his distance and Sam was trying to get through the latest crisis. It was hard for her to be there for Jason, but she knew he needed her._

As Jason and Sam sat comforting one another, neither had heard any news about whether Lucky and Elizabeth would donate Jake's organs. Jason didn't want to talk about it, but he knew that there was no hope for Jake, but that Jake could save Josslyn.

Dr. Webber walked up. "Jason I really respect what you're doing by keeping your distance. Lucky and Elizabeth have signed the paperwork to donate Jake's organs. Josslyn is a match and the surgery will be performed immediately. Thank you for waiting here and for loving Jake enough to give him a good life." That was it, Jake was gone. Jason started shaking and crying uncontrollably. That's when Sam's tears started to stream down her face. She pulled Jason in for a hug. No words were needed; each knew what the other one was thinking. They'd have to get through this together. And for both of them "this" was so much more than just the death of Jake, because a painful summer came flooding back to both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam sat in the penthouse alone, waiting and wondering where Jason had gone. She knew that Jason needed his space and she wanted to give that to him. After they had heard the news that morning, Sam left the hospital and went to the PCPD to offer help with the investigation in Jake's accident. Sam was having flashes of everything. She pictured Jason comforting her when she lost her daughter, then she pictured Hope being taken from them, then she pictured herself standing there and doing nothing as Jake was kidnapped, she would never forgive herself for that. She thought back to a dark time in her life when she regretted the decision she made one night that led to Jason's drinking and Jake's conception. As she sat on the couch on her knees with her legs curled underneath her body, tears streamed down her face. She felt so guilty and unsure of how to help Jason. Despite the thoughts that were running through her mind, she couldn't get that little girl, Olivia from the hospital out of her mind either. There was something about that little girl and her bubbly personality that Sam just wished she could bottle up.

Just then the door opened and Sam's immediate response was to run to Jason. Her second thought was that Jason probably needed some space. In that moment, she didn't care; she just grabbed him and pulled him in for a hug. Neither of them knew what to say, but Sam wanted to respect Jason and show him that she understood the man she loved. She pulled away first.

"Jason- I waited for you, because I wanted you to know I'm here for you, but if you'd rather be alone, I can go too." She said quietly. Jason said nothing, he just looked at Sam. She knew it, he needed space, he wanted her to go. She stepped around Jason and grabbed her coat from the desk.

"Sam- wait- don't- go," Jason said. The tears started to fill Jason's eyes as Sam turned to face him. Both were standing inches apart, but neither knew what to say. "I had to get out of there, so I got on my bike and drove as far and as fast as I could. I thought about Jake and that night we were playing. As I kept driving, I pictured you holding him in your arms and I knew I couldn't leave you- I need you Sam."

At Jason's words, tears were beginning to fill Sam's eyes. She stepped in toward Jason and wrapped her arms under his arms and held his shoulders. She softly rested her head under his chin. She didn't know what to say or do for Jason. She knew from her own experience that the pain was just too much. After a few moments, she said, "I love you, Jason. I'm here for whatever you need and for as long as you want."

Sam slowly pulled away from Jason and took his hand and pulled him towards the couch, where she put her hands on his shoulders and said, "Sit, you are exhausted." Jason listened to her command and he sat on the couch and Sam sat beside him. Jason wasn't ready to talk about what happened and Sam didn't want to push. As they sat, she laid her head on his shoulder and gently stroked his chest with her hand. The tears were coming down Jason's face and slowly one reached Sam's hand. Sam looked up into Jason's eyes and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer as he began to shake and sob uncontrollably. Sam continued to comfort the man she loved and once again no words were spoken.

After a few hours, Jason finally spoke. "How's Josslyn?" he asked Sam.

"I called and checked on her a few hours ago and she is doing well. Carly and Jax are at the hospital with her," Sam said.

"I want- I really want to be there for her, but I can't, not now," Jason said. "I hope Carly can forgive me for that."

"Jason, Carly will understand. You have nothing to be forgiven for. You need to grieve. You've lost your son," Sam said to him lovingly. "Why don't you let me make you something to eat?" she asked.

"You make something edible?" Jason said with a bit of a grin, but not much at all.

"You're right. Why don't I go to the hospital to check on Josslyn and give Carly your best and then I'll stop by Kelly's?"

"I'm not hungry, but I wouldn't mind if you checked on her," Jason said as his whole body began quivering. He was still trying to come to grips with the fact that his son had saved Josslyn's life.

Sam sat up on her knees and stared deep into Jason's blue, tear filled eyes. "I'm here for you, as much or as little as you want. I will head over to the hospital and be right back," as she spoke, she stroked his cheek with her thumb. "I love you," she said as she pecked him on the cheek.

Jason watched her stand up and walk to the door. He wanted Sam, but he wanted to be alone. He was so confused. He was beginning to question all the decisions he had made in his life. He started thinking back to the night Jake was born. Jason kept Jake's paternity a secret from Sam because he didn't want to hurt her. He wondered what would have happened if he had been honest with her from the beginning. He allowed Lucky to raise Jake to keep him safe, but maybe Jason could have protected his son after all. There were too many questions and it was too late for all of the "what ifs." Jake was gone and Jason had missed all his birthdays, holidays, and firsts. Sure Elizabeth and Lucky had experienced all that with Jake and their world had an empty piece, but they had fond memories. Jason reached into the pocket of his leather jacket, which he was still wearing and pulled out the one memory he held onto of his son, the yellow motorcycle. He recalled the night Sam had encouraged him to play with Jake. He continued to cry as he held on to the one piece left of his son. He loved that little boy, even if he wasn't in his life.

Sam walked in to find Carly standing beside Josslyn's crib. Josslyn was hooked up to many machines to make sure her body would accept the new kidney.

"Hey Carly, how is she?" Sam offered.

"She's sleeping and she's going to be just fine, thanks to Jason," Carly said. "How is he?"

"Jason's hurting. He doesn't like to say much, but I know he's grieving, he never really got a chance to know Jake and I think he regrets it. Now it's too late," Sam said bluntly as she turned away from Carly.

"Yeah, well Saint Elizabeth that can't even keep her 4 year old in the house didn't give Jason a chance to get to know his son. She brainwashed Jason," Carly said.

"Look Carly, I'm not Elizabeth's biggest fan, but I do know accidents happen. Now as far as manipulating Jason into giving up Jake, I don't think any of us were ourselves during that time. A lot happened and while we can't change the past, we can certainly learn from it," Sam said confidently.

"Well don't you sound like somebody who has lived and learned."

"Carly, I can NEVER forgive myself for wishing that little boy didn't exist or for the terrible things I did, but deep down all I ever wanted was for Jason to claim Jake and to be his father. I support Jason's choice, don't get me wrong, but I don't know. I mean- if he could choose again, would giving up Jake have been the right thing to do?" As Sam finished speaking, two things surprised her. First of all, Carly didn't have much to say and secondly, the little girl she had seen the night before was being wheeled down the hall. She waved at Sam and Sam waved back.

"Do you know Olivia?" Carly asked.

"I met her for a few minutes last night," Sam said.

"Sad, sad story. She and her mother were traveling to Port Charles and were in a car accident. The mother is in a coma. The little girl is recovering, but can't stay in the hospital forever. I heard the nurses say they lived with the mother's grandmother and she passed away and there's no one else."

Sam's heart broke for the little girl. "Poor thing, she's so bubbly. She probably has no idea what's really going on."

"With everything Lucky and Elizabeth are going through and this little girl, it really makes me appreciate that my kids are safe and healthy. There's nothing more important than that. Sam, just take care of Jason," Carly said as Sam turned around and she pulled her into a hug.

"I'll be there for him Carly, but I'm also going to give him his space. I love him too much to smother him right now," Sam said.

"Sam we may not always agree, but I know you're a good thing for Jason," Carly offered.

"Thanks Carly," Sam said looking over to Josslyn. "Josslyn, I'm going to tell your Uncle Jason just how well you're doing and I'm sure he'll come to see you soon. Carly, take good care of her and let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks Sam."

Sam left the hospital and as she went to Kelly's she couldn't stop thinking about how unfair life could be. She thought about how lost she felt when she lost her own little girl and when she thought she'd lost her parents. No matter how badly Cody and Evelyn treated her, they were her parents (or so she thought at the time). Poor Olivia, Sam thought.

When Sam arrived to the Penthouse, she immediately noticed the yellow motorcycle on the mantle and she recalled the time she and Jason had spent with Jake and the conversation she and Jason had the next day. She knew Jason loved that little boy with all his heart. She found it odd that Jason was gone. She decided to put the food in the oven to stay warm and work on a few cases while she waited. She checked her phone. Jason hadn't texted or tried to call her.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam waited for several hours for Jason and it was getting late. She knew Jason needed time and space, but prayed that he was safe. The door to the penthouse opened and Jason came in.

"I waited for you," Sam said in a concerned voice.

"I'm sorry. I just- I had to get out for a while," Jason explained as he walked toward Sam.

She stood up, narrowing the distance between them and trying to figure out whether Jason would allow her to get close. Sam respected Jason's privacy, but they were in a committed relationship and he was her man and she wanted nothing more than to be the touch that comforted him in his grief. Sam looked into his blue eyes as she spoke, "Jason, do you mind if I ask where you went?"

"First I went to see Elizabeth," Sam's eyes widened. She knew there was nothing between Jason and Elizabeth, but she was still concerned they were comforting one another. Jason continued, completely oblivious to Sam's reaction and discomfort. "She's a mess. All she did was apologize for not watching Jake. Sam, I couldn't accept her apology." Jason's eyes turned a dark blue and Sam noticed the rage in them. "Jake shouldn't have been out of the house! Violence surrounds my life EVERY single day, so I gave Jake up and she let him walk out into the road in the dark- how does this happen?" Jason began to cry uncontrollably as he stood before Sam, angry and vulnerable.

Sam looked puzzled, she was surprised at Jason's reaction and she didn't know what to say. All she could do was wrap her arms around Jason and pull him into a hug. "I'm sorry Jason, I know this hurts, but don't second guess yourself for a single second. You LOVED Jake with all your heart and you made a tough choice because it was best for his well-being. You can NOT feel guilty about that. It was selfless, just like you and one of the things I love about you."

Sam pulled away from Jason and encouraged him to try and eat something. Neither said much as they ate, Jason was still very upset about Jake and Sam didn't want to push him to talk. She knew he'd talk when he was ready.

After they ate, Sam encouraged Jason to go upstairs and try and get some rest. "Jason, I know it's hard, but why don't you try and rest. You've been going non-stop."

"Will you stay with me?" he asked her.

"Absolutely, I told you I'm here for whatever you need and for as long as you want me."

" Jason grabbed Sam's hand as they walked to the bedroom. They both changed their clothes and got ready for bed in silence. Jason crawled into bed first. He sat up as he waited for Sam to return from the bathroom. She crawled into her side of the bed as Jason lovingly wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you," were the only words he spoke as he gently kissed her lips and turned out the lights. Neither Jason nor Sam fell asleep, they both lie in bed thinking about that terrible summer and how Jake came into existence.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jason leaned over on his side facing Sam and realized she was lying there awake as well. He pushed the hair back from her face. Jason was the first to speak, "I don't know how to feel about this," he confessed.

"Jason, there's no way you're supposed to feel or to react," she said lovingly as she rubbed her hands over his bare chest.

"Sam, how can I be ok with the fact that I gave up a life with Jake for his safety? I missed every single day of that boy's life, and now I'll never have the chance to see or know him," Jason asked.

"I know that you loved that little boy Jason. I saw it in your eyes every single time you were around him. Even when Jake was born, I knew there was something different in you-" Sam stopped. She knew that she was sharing her feelings with Jason and she wasn't sure it was the right time. She didn't know how to tell him that she knew if Elizabeth had given him the chance, Jason would have been an amazing father for Jake. She also knew that it was too late for that.

"Sam, I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you the truth about Jake. I just didn't want you to feel guilty."

"Jason, I was not happy that MY actions pushed you and Elizabeth together that night. It hurts me to know that she was the one to comfort you when **I** hurt you, but we both made mistakes. I'll admit I was envious of the fact that Elizabeth had given you something that I wanted so desperately to give to you," Sam paused momentarily. Jason had opened that can of worms and Sam didn't know that she was prepared to have the full blown conversation that night. She knew the way she was feeling would come out eventually, but she also didn't think now was a fair time to try and discuss this issue with Jason, so she continued, "Jason we can't change the past. We have to be honest about it and learn from what's happened. All I know is that I'm here for you now and I love you so much," and with that she placed her hands on the side of his face and pulled him into a slow and sensual kiss.

"I love you too, thanks for being here with me," Jason said as he rubbed his thumb over her cheekbone. Sam curled into Jason's side and he wrapped his arms around her.

"There's no place I'd rather be," Sam said as she adjusted easily into his arms. Neither got much sleep that night, but they rested comfortably in one another's arms.

Jason's thoughts were of the moments he spent with Jake, while Sam pondered what her and Jason's life together would have been if Lila or Hope had been in it longer. Jason's loss was reminding her of her loss. She didn't know why, but she couldn't stop thinking about Hope and how perfect Jason was with her. She began to imagine Jason as a father. She was upset that Elizabeth had given that to him and so easily taken it away. Now Jason's son was gone and she knew she'd never be able to give him the one thing she always felt would make him complete.

As the light of the morning streamed in, Sam pulled away from Jason who had finally fallen asleep only if just for a bit. She carefully got up and showered and left the penthouse. She knew she wanted Jason to rest and there was something that had been on her mind most of the night.

When Jason woke up, he noticed Sam wasn't there, but as he turned to take in the lovely scent of her, he saw a note that she left on the pillow next to him.

_Jase~_

_I'm sorry about last night. I know losing Jake is hard and I'm here for you, but needed to get some work done. Call me for anything. I love you!_

_ Love,_

_Sam_

For the first time since he heard about Jake, Jason smiled with the reassurance that Sam was going to be the one to get him through it. But he reread her note and was confused about what she could possibly be sorry for. He remembered their conversation the night before. He realized they had started to talk about the past. Jason and Sam had both forgiven each other long ago, but was Sam still feeling bad about Jake. She had pulled away when they started talking about Jake's conception. Jason had a feeling that Sam was feeling so much more than what she said the night before. He knew one thing, he loved her more than anything or anyone and he needed to make sure that she was happy and loved.

As Jason started to get up and dress, he heard a loud pounding at the door.

"Jason, open up!" Carly shouted as she pounded fast and furiously. Jason wondered what was wrong and if everything was ok with Josslyn.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all of the reviews. It makes me motivated to write more. To answer a few of your questions: everything up until Jake's death that happened on GH happened in this story. Elizabeth and Lucky are in this story a bit, but not much. This is about Jason and Sam and how they come together in this time of grief. So far in this story, Luke is not the driver that hit Jake. Olivia is in the hospital for a reason and she will be in parts of this story.**

"Jason, open up!" Carly shouted as she pounded fast and furiously. Jason wondered what was wrong and if everything was ok with Josslyn.

He quickly ran down the stairs and opened the door. Without greeting him, Carly barged right in like the hurricane that she often was.

"Carly, what's wrong? Is Josslyn ok?" Jason asked with a worried look on his face.

"Josslyn is fine. She's doing great. In fact better than great, but Jason I realized today that I was in such a hurry to get to the hospital that I may have hit Jake," she said as tears started to fill her eyes. Jason could see the guilt.

"Wait Carly, the police are checking into security cameras, are you sure?" he asked.

"Jason, I wasn't focused on the road that night. I wanted to get to Josslyn. I am so sorry," Carly explained.

"Carly if you were the driver that hit Jake and that's a very big IF, it was an accident. The real question is how did Jake get out in the road anyway?" Jason asked as he clearly showed his disgust with Elizabeth. He pulled Carly into a hug.

"Carly, I believe the police are trying to find the driver, but Dante says that Jake's death will be ruled an accident. He agreed that whoever hit Jake probably didn't realize. It's going to be ok."

Carly pulled back so she could look into Jason's blue eyes, "Jason, I'm just really sorry and I hope that you can forgive me."

"Carly there's nothing to forgive. Go be with Josslyn. Don't miss one opportunity you have with her." Jason said.

"Aww Jason, I am so sorry about Jake. This must be so hard on you and I haven't been a great best friend to you lately," she admitted.

"Carly, right now Josslyn is more important. Sam has been here for me. We'll get through it," he said.

"I know that I didn't like Sam a lot at first for obvious reasons, but she is really good for you and as long as she makes you happy, I guess I can live with it" Carly said.

"Carly, Josslyn needs you right now. Go. Sam is here for me and I couldn't be more grateful," Jason said.

"All right Jason, but you call me if you need me, ok?" she said as she picked up her clutch and walked out the door.

Jason was left standing there. He was devastated about Jake being gone, but it was more about missing the chance to get to know him. Jason was thankful for Sam and he needed to find her and make sure she was ok. This was hard on him, but Sam had lost a child too and losing Jake had to be a bad reminder for her.

Sam had gone into the office when she left the penthouse. She hoped that Jason would understand and call if she needed him. She knew that he hadn't slept much and couldn't bear to wake him. All night long, Sam had been thinking about the little girl from the hospital, Olivia. She used some of their computer software to search for accidents near Port Charles recently.

"Come on," she said to herself as she waited for the results of her search.

"Yes," she said as she found a story on an accident. She read it to herself and looking at the photographs, she didn't know how anyone made it out of that vehicle alive. She discovered that the young woman believed to be 22 or 23 and her daughter were traveling north to Port Charles when their vehicle flipped several times. It was believed that the mother had been drinking and driving, but there was no form of identification.

"Wow," Sam said to herself as she thought about how selfish it was for the mother to put the child in jeopardy like that. It disgusted Sam to think about how the mother failed to realize the gift she had in that little girl. Sam looked around some more, but didn't see anything else in the database. She decided she'd head to the hospital. She was shutting down her office computer when her phone rang. She noticed it was Jason.

"How are you doing?" she answered. "Wait you don't have to answer it, that was insensitive…" Sam continued to ramble.

"I'm hanging in there. I miss you," Jason said.

"Sorry Jase. I wanted to let you rest and I had some work to do, but if you want me to come over, I can be there in a few minutes," she explained.

"There's somewhere I have to go, something I have to do. Sam I need you to go with me," he said. Sam knew that Jason rarely asked for help, so she knew this had to be important.

"Absolutely. I'll be right over," she said.

"Thank you. I love you," he said. Sam could hear the vulnerability in his voice.

"I love you too. Be there soon," she said.

Sam walked out of the office as Spinelli walked in. "Fair Samantha," he greeted her.

"Hey Spinelli. I have to head over to Jason's, but I left some files for you to work on today," she said.

"How is Stonecold?" Spinelli asked.

"He's hanging in there, but this is hard for Jason. He barely knew Jake and I think Jason regrets that," she explained hoping she hadn't given Spinelli too much information. "Are you ok?"

"Yes Fair Samantha. The Jackal is fine. I've been staying here at the office to give Stonecold some privacy," Spinelli explained.

"Spinelli, Jason won't mind you at the penthouse," Sam said.

"The time has come for the Jackal to give Stonecold and Fair Samantha some space. I am looking for a suitable, more permanent reside," Spinelli explained.

Even though Sam was secretly excited that Spinelli may be moving out of the penthouse, she said," Well you know Jason's place and your pink room is available as long as you need it."

"Thank you," he said.

"Look Spinelli, I've got to get to Jason. Don't forget those files," Sam said.

"Hey," Sam said as she walked in the penthouse and tossed her coat and keys on the desk. She saw Jason sitting in the chair and she walked up and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Hi," he said turning to face her.

"Sorry it took me a little longer than expected. Spinelli came in as I was walking out of the office," Sam said.

"Is he ok?" Jason asked.

"Spinelli's fine, Jason," she said as she walked around him and sat on the arm of the chair turning to face Jason. "I'm here for you, what do you need?"

"Sam, I know it's hard for you to think about Jake. But don't apologize," Jason said.

Sam's eyes started to well up, as did Jason's. "Jason, I am truly sorry for EVERYTHING that happened when Jake was a baby."

"Sam, I've forgiven you for everything. I know you were hurting, because of the choices I made" he said.

"I respect your decision to have Lucky and Elizabeth raise Jake, to protect him, but Jason I think that," Sam spoke as she bit her bottom lip, unsure of whether to continue to not.

"Go ahead, Sam," he said.

"It's just that I think I always knew you'd be a great Dad. I saw it as we prepared to welcome my little girl into the world and when we had Hope with us. I see you with Michael, Jason. You were meant to be a Dad and I can't give you that."

Jason reached up and pulled Sam down into his lap. He knew that it had taken a lot for her to confess the way she really felt. He also knew that Sam regretted that she couldn't have children. "Look Sam, I love you and I love our life together. I wouldn't change anything," he said.

"Neither would I, but I can't help but wonder what if you had gotten to know your son. Jason I saw how much you loved him the night of the bus crash," Sam said as she bit her lip again. "And I know that you probably don't agree with me, but I blame Elizabeth for taking away the chance to know your son."

"Sam, I made the choice that Lucky and Elizabeth would raise Jake, to keep him safe, and now it's too late to think about anything else. Elizabeth and Lucky have fond memories of Jake. I have dreams of what could have been, but I'll always have you. I wasn't Jake's father; that was Lucky." he said as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

"You're right Jason, but you were the man that loved Jake enough to give him a good life and that has to count for something," she said as she pinched the cotton on his shirt. "Now, you said you needed to do something."

"Sam, I need to go see Elizabeth and I was hoping you would come with me," he asked her.

She couldn't deny his blue eyes. "Ok Jason, I'll go with you to see Elizabeth."

"Thank you. I just want to thank her and Lucky for giving Jake a good life. I need you there to make sure I'm not too insensitive"

"Insensitive?" Sam questioned.

"I know that the person that hit Jake did it accidentally. But I can't help but wonder how in the world Jake ended up out in the dark road," Jason said as his eyes grew dark and Sam could see the rage he was trying to fight back.

"I wonder that too, and I know you're looking for someone to blame, but accidents happen," she said.

"That's why I need you with me, to help calm me down," he said as a small grin shown on his face.

As they waited on the porch of Elizabeth's house, Jason grabbed Sam's hand for strength. Sam reached up and rang the doorbell. She and Elizabeth were not friends, but Sam had tried to be cordial. Sam hoped that since that night of the bus crash when Elizabeth handed Jake over to Jason and Sam that things were better. Only time would tell. To Jason and Sam's surprise, Nikolas answered the door.

"Hello," he greeted them.

"Hi Nikolas, we were hoping to offer condolences to Elizabeth," Sam said.

"Of course. Come in and sit down. I'll get her," Nikolas said as he went up the stairs.

Sam and Jason sat on the couch as Jason looked at the toys on the floor. In his mind he pictured Jake playing on the floor and tears started to come to his eyes. Sam put a hand on his shoulder for strength. "It's going to be ok," she said.

Elizabeth came down the stairs holding Aiden. "Sam and Jason, Hi," she greeted.

"Hey Elizabeth, we won't stay long just wanted to talk," Jason offered as Sam held his hand for support.

"Nik was just taking Cam and Aiden to Wyndemere, let me finish getting them ready," she said. Nik had gone out to get their things in the car.

"I can't tie my shoes," Cameron said as he sat on the coffee table.

"Please just try," Elizabeth asked him.

"Let me help you with that Cameron," Sam said as she bent down and tied his shoes. "They were in a double-knot, those are really hard to get out."

"Thanks Sam," Cameron said as he jumped off the coffee table and headed out to meet Nik. Elizabeth followed as she helped Nik get the kids into the car and said goodbye to her boys.

"You were great with him," Jason said.

"Oh that. Tying shoes is nothing," Sam offered.

"I feel like Jake should still be in the house," Elizabeth said as she walked back in.

"I'm sure that's hard," Jason said as Elizabeth sat down in a chair across from the couch.

"Jason, I know you don't have the memories that Lucky and I have, but what you did, for Jake. I can never thank you enough," she said.

"Elizabeth, I just want to thank you and Lucky for giving Jake a good life. I had to miss him, but it was worth it knowing he was away from the violence," Jason said as he grabbed Sam's hand.

"I'm sorry for the hurt I caused Jake. Elizabeth I know you're hurting, but Jake's not in pain anymore," Sam said as she bit her bottom lip unsure of what else to offer Elizabeth. She knew what it felt like to lose a child and she hated to see Elizabeth going through the pain she had experienced.

"Thank you both for your support. It means a lot. Jake's memorial service will be on Friday. I hope you can attend," Elizabeth said.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment. Sam broke it first. "We'd be honored. If there is anything we can do to help you Elizabeth, please let Jason or I know."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said as they all stood and she walked them to the door. "I mean it Jason, thank you for giving Jake nearly four years free of the violence."

With that Jason and Sam left Elizabeth's. Sam knew Jason was angry, she could see it in his eyes. She imagined it probably hurt him to hear Elizabeth's insinuations about the mob and violence when he knew that her carelessness caused the accident that cost Jake his life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it's been so long. I've been updating my other story, "In this Together." I am really enjoying Jasam's current storyline. This is still something I've had in my mind for a while. Please let me know what you think. I love reading your reviews.**

It had been 3 days since Jason had received that devastating phone call from Lucky. The words still rang in his head, _"Jake's been hit by a car." _Jason had been leaning on Sam for support. He didn't know what he would do without her and he hadn't allowed her to get too far away from him. It was Friday, the day of Jake's memorial. Sam walked down the stairs to find Jason attempting to put his tie on.

"Here, let me," she said as she put on his tie and thought about the day Jason helped her prepare to say goodbye to her daughter. "There is no pain worse than losing a child," she said as tears began to fall from her eyes. In the last few days as she was supporting Jason, Sam couldn't help but relive the loss of her precious Lila, the child she never got to hold, play with, get ready for school, sing Happy Birthday to, or do any of the other things that she knew Jason longed to do with Jake.

As the couple got ready for the Memorial Service in silence, Jason recalled each and every interaction he had with Jake and held on to the few memories he had with him. Meanwhile Sam was thinking of Jake, but she was also clinging to moments she had with her daughter. She had memories of feeling her kick and hiccup. She thought about how Jason had been there for her and her unborn baby. She knew she had to be there for him.

"I can't do this," he said finally.

Sam put one hand on his back as she held the other hand, "I'm right here, we'll do it together."

"No, Sam. I can't go to this memorial service and pretend like I was Jake's father, because I wasn't," he said.

"Jason, you made the best choice you could for Jake at the time. Whether you go or not, Lucky and Elizabeth understand that and Jake does too,"

"Jake never even knew I was his father," Jason retorted.

Sam pulled Jason to the couch and they sat down. She was facing him. "Look, don't you ever say that. You were the man that loved Jake enough for Lucky to raise him." She paused to collect her thoughts as she wiped her own tear-stained cheek. "Jason, I believe that the people we love are watching over us. I think that Lila and Jake know how much we love them. If Jake is watching your grief and your agony, he knows that what you did was out of love. He's also probably thinking about how proud you were the night of the bus crash and what a miracle it was that he played motorcycles with his Dad. If you can't go today, it's all right. Jake knows you love him."

"I'll go, as long as you're with me," Jason said reluctantly as he stood up and pulled Sam to her feet. They finished getting ready and left for the church.

Jason rarely let Sam drive his SUV, the last time she has driven them was in Mexico while Jason was recovering from a gunshot wound. As they drove to the church, Sam broke the silence. "Look Jason, I know this is going to be hard. More and more people know that you are Jake's biological father. If you want, I can run interference," she suggested.

"All right," he said barely loud enough for her to hear.

"If you want, we'll sit in the back so we can slip out," she offered.

"What would I do without you," he said with a slight grin on his lips. Jason was disgusted with the loss of Jake, but what upset him even more was that he would be listening to people share memories of a little boy he never really got to know and that hurt him so much.

When Jason and Sam arrived at the church, they sat in the parking lot as Jason allowed himself the strength to go inside. They slipped in just before the service began and slipped out as soon as it concluded. Jason held onto Sam's hand the entire time for dear life. She couldn't recall a time when the strongest man she knew was so weak. She understood what he was going through and she loved him enough to get past the hurt his lies caused her and support him. When they got back to the SUV before anyone else had come out from the church, he pulled her into a massive hug and he wouldn't let go. Normally she felt safe and secure in Jason's embrace, but this one was different. Jason was vulnerable and it was her job to make him feel safe and secure.

"Come on," she said as she pulled away. "You need to eat something."

"Sam—" he hesitated.

"Yes Jason," she said.

"Never mind," he said as he climbed into the passenger's seat.

"Jason whatever it is, I'm here for you. We can get through this together,"

"I—I—I want to go to the hospital…to see Josslyn," he admitted.

"Sure baby," she said as she got into the driver's seat.

**X X X X X X X X X X X X **

Jason knew that Carly was at the memorial service and she'd probably go to the grave site, so he hoped he'd have some time with Josslyn. She had Jake's kidneys, so it made him feel closer to his son. He was also close to Josslyn and hadn't seen her since the surgery. When they arrived in her room, they found Shawn standing guard.

"Hi there," Shawn said.

"How's she doing?" Jason asked.

"She's been resting, but she just woke up," Shawn admitted.

"You can go get some coffee. I'd like to spend some time with her," Jason said.

"Hey pretty girl," Sam said as she leaned over the crib where Josslyn was hooked to lots of machines. "Your Uncle Jason is here," she said. Josslyn smiled when Sam said Jason's name. "I think she's excited to see you. I'm going to give you two time alone," Sam said as she walked toward the door.

"You don't have to go," Jason said.

"Well, I love this little girl, but I think she wants you all to herself, but I'll be right down the hall," she said as she touched Jason's forearm and his shoulder and walked out of the room.

Sam knew Jason needed time with Josslyn alone, but more was weighing on her mind. The truth was Sam couldn't get Olivia out of her mind. There was something about that little girl had consumed Sam's thoughts for days. She wondered about her mother and the drunk driving accident. Sam had been busy helping Jason, but she wanted to see Olivia again. She wandered out of Josslyn's room and down the hall. Part of her thought she was crazy, but she felt something with this little girl that she couldn't get out of her mind and she needed to see her again.

Sam walked by her room and saw that the little girl was resting. She also noticed all of the pictures she had been drawing that filled the walls of her hospital room. Sam walked past Josslyn's room where she saw Jason reading to her. She went to the hospital gift shop and bought several coloring books and crayons for the little girl who was melting her heart.

She walked to the door of the room.

"Knock-knock," she said as she knocked on the door. The little girl looked up from her video game.

"You came back," she said cheerfully as she put the video game down and started to get out of bed.

"Be careful," Sam said as she started walking towards her.

The little girl was quickly out of bed and she walked over to where Sam met her. Sam bent down and the little girl hugged her. "I knew you'd come back," she said.

Sam wasn't sure how to react to the little girl. "I brought you something," she said pulling out the coloring books and crayons.

"Thank you. I love to draw," she said.

"I can see that," Sam said. "You have some beautiful pictures in here. You've been busy."

Sam sat down in a chair beside the bed, hoping the little girl would get back in bed. The last thing she needed was Epiphany to come in and give her hell. Before she knew it, Olivia climbed right up onto her lap. "You smell so good, just like vanilla cupcakes," she said cheerfully.

"Why thank you," Sam said.

"Your cut on your face is almost gone," Olivia said pointing to Sam's face.

"Yes, I'm feeling much better. How are you doing?" Sam asked.

"I'm good, but my Mommy is still asleep," Olivia explained as she started to play with Sam's hair. Sam didn't mind. There was something about this little girl that pulled at her heart strings.

"So, I heard you and your Mommy were in a car accident?" Sam asked and the little girl shook her head up and down. "Why were you coming to Port Charles?"

"Well Mommy said I was a bad girl and she couldn't take care of me since Grandma went to heaven," the little girl said. "I didn't always eat my veggies, but I did what she told me."

Sam looked into the little girl's eyes, "I'm sure you're not a bad girl, but you should eat your vegetables."

"I like you," she said as she fell asleep in Sam's arms.

Sam looked up to find Shawn standing in the doorway. "I see you met Olivia, the pride and joy of Pediatrics. Be careful, she'll steel your heart," he said.

"I think she already has," Sam said as she stood up and carefully carried the sleeping child to bed.

"What do you know about her mom?" Sam asked Shawn as they walked back into the hall.

"She's a young mom. She's in a coma, probably won't survive."

"What about Olivia?" Sam asked.

"I think that they're looking into foster care," Shawn said.

"She's so easy to love," Sam mumbled.

"That she is," Shawn said as he walked with Sam back to Josslyn's room.

Sam's heart melted at the sight before her. Josslyn and Jason had fallen asleep in the rocking chair. Sam knew that Jason needed rest and asked Shawn not to disturb them.


End file.
